Individuals with difficulty in regulating their emotions often experience problems in interpersonal relationships; for example, anxiety and anger can damage one's close relationships, fear and shame can lead to his/her denial of interpersonal contact, and stress can inhibit one's efforts to communicate with others. Thus, interpersonal effectiveness training is a collection of skills that teach individuals to manage interpersonal conflict, develop new friendships, end destructive ones, and efficiently reinforce their surroundings. Many of the interpersonal effectiveness skills came from research in assertiveness training; for example, DEARMAN's expertise helps a person make requests with efficacy. This is further synthesized by the power to say yes/no conclusively. For some people, seeking help is ascribed to a big challenge or hesitation, while to others, saying "no" or simply refusing to requests seem a more significant problem. These situations need efficient navigation to deal with ease, which is why you need interpersonal effectiveness as a critical skill to your toolbox. Interpersonal effectiveness skills have been widened to include expertise in dialectics, validation, and emergency management procedures. As a result, it can now address a myriad of interpersonal dynamics.
What is Interpersonal Effectiveness?
Interpersonal effectiveness is one of the four modules of Dialectical Behavior Therapy and is considered the second most core skill that underlies other skill-sets. The additional modules consist of mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotion regulation. Learning interpersonal effectiveness skills can not only make communication more comfortable but also prevent oneself from being taken advantage of, at certain circumstances. To successfully implement interpersonal skills, you must be adept with the other pillars of DBT, namely emotional regulation, mindfulness, and distress tolerance.
In your interaction with others, there is a lot of sensory information to withdraw and analysis to conduct - words that the other person uses, the physiological responses, thoughts, and emotions you possess as a response, etc. There is a lot to observe here.
Mindfulness acts as a building block for interpersonal effectiveness because it allows you to observe, evaluate, and experience your emotions with a nonjudgmental stance. When you check your interpersonal communication and emotional reactions with mindfulness, it becomes easier to take practical actions with the Wise Mind.
How to apply Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills?
According to DBT, our interpersonal skills are inherently valuable because communication with others has a significant impact on our immediate outcome of those interactions, followed by our relationships with them. While there are several components necessary to attain interpersonal skills, here are some of the negotiations you must have with yourself before proceeding:
1. Priorities
- Analyze how vital your objectives are.
- Focus on the status of the particular relationship in question- whether it's fragile or injured.
- Ask yourself, "Is my self-respect at risk?" and "Will my self-respect be damaged in some way if I say "no" to this request?"
2. Capability
- Review the capability of the second person - whether he/she can fulfill your needs.
- Ask yourself whether you possess what they need from you.
3. Timing
- Reflect on the timing - if this is the right time to have a conflicting conversation.
- Judge the timing again. Find out if this is the right time when they are likely to say "yes" to your request or wrong time to say "no" to them.
4. Homework
- Ask yourself, "Do I know enough about this situation/person I'm seeking help from?"
- Do I have all the information I need about this request?
- Make sure you have clarity about your needs.
- Find out if you can commit to your words.
5. Authority
Understand the role of authority - if either of you influences each other.
6. Rights
Question yourself, "Would say "yes," say"no" to this request violate my rights in some way?"
7. Reciprocity
Find out the degree of reciprocity - if either of you has done so much for each other earlier.
8. Long-Term vs. Short-Term
Analyze if giving up on your request right now will result in long-term problems later on?
9. Respect
Ensure whether you will lose respect in your eyes after your plausible reaction to the situation.
What is Interpersonal Psychotherapy?
If you are familiar with evidence-based treatment models like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), then it's time to explore the modalities of Interpersonal Psychotherapy in your practice.
Conceptualized around the same time as CBT, IPT is a time-limited therapy structured based on several controlled types of research. The meta-analysis conducted during its theorization indicated IPT as a treatment choice for unipolar depressive disorders. According to the American Journal of Psychiatry, "IPT deserves its place in treatment guidelines as one of the most empirically validated treatments for depression."
IPT for depression was first developed by the Yale Research Team at Columbia University, led by Dr. Gerald L. Klerman in the 1970s. Although it was initially curated for treating major depressive disorders, it has since been applied to treat several other conditions, including binge eating disorders and anorexia nervosa. The primary goal of this treatment is to soothe the symptoms and improve people's interpersonal lives with such disorders.
Even after thirty-eight studies, including 4,365 patients, were conducted with results showing that combination treatment was not more effective than IPT alone. IPT did not gain enough traction as its evidence-based competitors. However, its easy usage and clinically proven results across diagnoses may convince therapists to add this model to their toolbox independently.
Benefits Of Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills
Research has shown that interpersonal effectiveness has been useful for eating disorders and other behavioral problems and borderline personality disorder. It is also reported thatDBTskill implementation led to decreased overall BPD symptoms, reduced affective instability, and improved relationship capability of individuals.
According to the American Psychological Association, only 50% of employees believe that their bosses have an open-gate policy and a quarter of them do not trust their employers.
Interpersonal effectiveness skills are highly crucial for an appropriate work environment as it helps individuals to improve workplace communication and build trust among themselves. Interpersonal effectiveness skills are an incredible asset to a quality life. Without them, life can get immensely challenging. But with them, you will find ways opened for you which you thought never existed.
Conclusion
When it comes to learning complex skills, there is always room for improvement, and one cannot wholly master any skill and ensure perfection. Hence, while interacting with people with minimum mindfulness blended with interpersonal effectiveness is not enough, you must always strive for further development.
If you feel that you or your loved one needs help in interpersonal effectiveness and may benefit from DBT, we recommend you seek help from a professional therapist trained in this therapy program.