More

DBT

July 22, 2020

How To Practice Radical Acceptance?

Adjusting to the changes in our lives because of COVID-19 may have caused feelings of fear, anxiety, anger, loneliness and helplessness. If we could rather accept radically that this will be under control one day, we must attempt to continue with our daily routine with all the necessary precautions and guidelines. Change is a part of our life and to accept it is our will. Whether sweet or bitter, we have to and we must accept it. We readily embrace the sweetness (like; the birth of a baby, scoring well in a test, getting an unexpected increase in salary, etc.) of life. But, when it comes to bitterness (e.g. death of a loved one, losing a job, divorce, etc.), we simply deny it. Radical acceptance is an acknowledgment of reality as it is now—not as we wish it were, not as we think it should be, but as it is in the present moment with all of its flaws. There are instances when a person starts blaming themselves for a particular consequence and starts a pattern of self-sabotaging. This is because of the cycle of affected emotions, thoughts and finally behavior. The individual, in any condition, is not ready to accept what has happened to them. It’s important to remember the current situation before us is a complex outcome of various small events, linked to each other. We should not blame anyone for it. Rather, we should accept it completely.

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is a therapy that works on a behavioral level to break the cycle (of emotion, thoughts, and behavior) by creating a proper balance (dialectic) between the change that has taken place and our acceptance. DBT offers a skill, known as Radical Acceptance (which finds its roots from Buddhist beliefs) was first proposed by Dr.Marsha Linehan. According to Dr. Linehan, if we tend to reject reality (or do not accept it), it becomes such a burden that even a small pain feels like suffering for us.

Radical Acceptance in DBT: What is it ?

Radical Acceptance is an art or a skill that makes a person tolerate distress by enabling acceptance of life (or a situation) as it comes. It does not allow the pain to become suffering. Radical Acceptance brings a change in our behavior towards life, hence breaking the cycle of emotions and thoughts.

Radical Acceptance must not be taken as becoming helpless because of a current situation. Neither is it an excuse for it nor does it define the limitations for an individual.

How Radical Acceptance works?

According to Dr. Linehan, the following steps are adopted for working out with Radical Acceptance:

1. Ruling Out The Cause Of A Situation

Thinking

We must question ourselves about the series of events that must have been responsible for the current distressing situation.

2. Analyze About The Roles

Try to find out your and others' participation in creating the present unpleasant moment. You (or the others) may have been the reason for this troubling time. The brutal truth of life is that you have to accept it and move on.

3. Your Control Over Others

It is just not possible to have control over an event or any person. Hence, it would be better if you try to accept the situation and find peace in the same.

4. Notice Your First Reaction

Shouting, screaming, or crying could be your spontaneous reaction towards the shock that life gifts you. Or at times, you just take it as none other option. But, Radical Acceptance strengthens you to face and accept the situation mindfully. Imagery and mind relaxation techniques are helpful in acceptance.

5. Enlisting Behavioral Changes

What life brings you has to be accepted. Radical Acceptance skill helps us embrace reality. Your present behavior towards the situation reflects the way you would be accepting life in the future.

6. Imagine Your Reaction

Radical Acceptance prepares you to think, accept, and behave for what you never want to happen (or had never thought of being accepted).

7. Feel Yourself

Imagine yourself into a situation, which you did not want to occur but will have to accept. While imagining, feel your body’s responses.

8. Do Not Oppose Natural Responses

After you have imagined, about a non - welcoming situation, let the natural responses like sadness, anger, etc. emerge within you.

9. Accept The Life As It Comes

Accept the Life

Accept pain as a part of life and you have to live with it. Dialectic Behavioral Therapy helps in developing this acceptance power.

10. Make Your Judgement

Evaluate within yourself the brighter and the darker side of your repulsion towards the acceptance of the current situation. Your target must be not to let the pain become suffering.

The truth may hurt sometimes. No one wants to accept it. But, the sooner we accept the reality of life, the easier it is to face it. Radical Acceptance is never ignoring the current situation, surrendering your needs, being judgmental, or assertive. On the contrary, it is accepting life in itself, not blaming anyone for being a cause for the situation, accepting that nature is not in our control, and increasing tolerance to accept the pain. We must not forget that the truth of life never changes. It will always be - as it is now.

DBT

Radical Acceptance

Related Stories

DBT

July 08, 2020

Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Eating Disorders

Rusha Bhattacharjee